What we can or can’t do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our strengths or intelligence. It’s often a function of our beliefs about who we are.12 of the most common toxic beliefs people struggle with, time and time again are:
- “I’m not good enough.” – Embrace all of yourself. When you appreciate your flaws and faults, they lose their power over you. Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. Don’t be one of them. What you experience in life starts with your perception. In almost every case, nothing is stopping you… nothing is holding you back but your own thoughts about yourself and “how life is.” Your perception creates your beliefs. Your beliefs create your behaviors. And your behaviors produce your experience.
- “I missed my chance.” – The truth is, every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. And your next chance is happening right NOW. Therefore, it’s a choice… To be positive and free or to be imprisoned by your own negativity. To live in the past or to be hopeful about the present.
- “I have nothing to smile about right now.” – Even in the most peaceful surroundings, the ungrateful heart finds trouble. Even in the most troublesome surroundings, the grateful heart finds peace. Remember this. There is always, always, always something to be grateful for. And being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. If you’re struggling with this, start by being grateful for all the problems you do NOT have. Let go of the need to complain about life, and spend more moments actually living its beauty. Change the phrase “I have to” to “I get to.” So many things we complain about are things others wish they had the chance to do.
- “My life should be easier.” – If it wasn’t for the struggle you wouldn’t have the strength. Life is always building you up even when it seems like it’s breaking you down. No matter what happens, just do your best and make the best of it. You won’t enjoy your life if you don’t enjoy your challenges. Great challenges make life interesting, and overcoming them makes life meaningful.
- “I’m too tired… I’ll do it later.” – “Later” is a façade. Give up, give in, or give it all you’ve got right now. Make a decision. But don’t just sit around overthinking everything and doing absolutely nothing. Action expresses priorities. Write it. Work it. Research it. Publish it. Mix it, sauté it, whatever… MAKE it happen today!
- “I don’t have enough time.” – We all have the same 24 hours a day, which means you have just as much time as those successful, hardworking people you envy and admire. So keep this universal law of happiness and success in mind: What you pay attention to grows – focus on what matters and let go of what does not.
- “I have too many required obligations.” – We all have obligations, but the reality is some people will be disappointed no matter what you do. So check-in with yourself first. The more you say “no” to things that don’t matter to you, the easier it is to say “yes” to things that do. You’re not a bad person if you have to let some people down. Just breathe. Show yourself some love. We can’t do everything for everyone in every situation. Do what you can when it aligns with your values, and do it with a cheerful heart.
- “I need a guarantee before I begin.” – You don’t need guarantees on everything in life, because that’s not how life works. Embrace uncertainty! You can be comfortable or courageous, but not both at once. Remember this! Stretch yourself! Don’t let fear decide your future. Some of the most incredible chapters of your life won’t have a title you feel comfortable with until much later.
- “People don’t get me because I’m different.” – When we’re different, sometimes we don’t see the dozens of people who accept us for who we are; all we notice are the few who don’t. Realize this and never let the negative naysayers crowd your better judgment. When you receive negative feedback, keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how many people don’t get you, it matters how many do. Learn how to take criticism seriously, but not personally. The way most people feel is because of them, not you. So much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally. In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
- “I don’t deserve to be treated any better.” – Remember, we set the standard for how we want to be treated. Your relationships are reflections of the relationship you have with yourself.
- “It’s not the right thing to do, but it’s OK if I can get away with it.” – The key is to do the right thing, ALWAYS, even if no one will ever know. Because YOU will know. And that changes everything in the long run.
- “My life is boring.” – This one is a bit more general, but if you’re bored, you haven’t been looking at life closely enough. Get up and open your awareness. Be clenched and curious… not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention to what’s happening around you and within you. It’s all about paying attention. Because attention is vitality. It connects you with opportunities. It makes you eager and teachable. Stay eager and teachable, always. Growth is never boring.
So, which of these toxic beliefs sometimes creep up in your mind? How do you cope? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us.
Photo by: Lauren Rushing